A friend once asked me, "If you could choose to live forever, would you?" I smiled and said, " I would.. if and only if I spend my forever with someone who's worth living." Sounds "crap" right? Well, that was me when i was younger - immature, idealistic... dreamer. I used to believe that forever is place where i could live a happily-ever-after - mellow music playing with falling flowers in the background. Forever is a dream for me. At night i close my eyes with complete and utter faith that forever is within my reach. But eventually I grew up, and my fairytale disappeared.
All those years i spend thinking that my life was a fairytale come true, that i had a Prince Charming who would soon carry me away on a castle in a hill. Everything is in clarity - colorful... heavenly. I feel like Forever is so close to me that i could taste it. I don't want to let go of my perfect world... and death, is the only thing that could take everything away from me. I'm afraid to die.
Well, things turns up when you don't really expect it. Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And its not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. I soon realize that those years... those years i thought where my Forever starts was like an unlived life. I wasted my time chasing the wrong dream, believing false hopes and promises.
I've learned a lot from my unlived life... i know i should not regret it.. Somehow, i'm thankful that I've been in an Unlived life.. because... in some way.. it made me a better person.. it molded me into something more capable of loving.. more capable of doing lots of things... and more capable of making a difference in this world.
